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joelzimmer:

Crossed

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Eating disorders are a funny thing. They consume your life, even when you aren’t physically suffering from one yourself. It’s a daily struggle for me to understand the reason why they exist. In high school, one of my good friends struggled. I remember constantly about the concerns I had for her health and well-being. I researched and I read books upon books to gain an understanding of what was going on. I had never seen anything like that in person. She went from being a healthy, athletic girl of 115 pounds to literally NOTHING. Her double 00 jeans were falling off and her sweatshirts turned into swimming pools. The year before we graduated, she had hit her rock bottom; she had been hospitalized. I think it was one of the most devastating circumstances our age group had been through. In the small town we are from, people don’t suffer from eating disorders. At least if they do, they go relatively unnoticed. Eventually my friend was able to pull herself away from this disease and I was proud of her. She took a stand even though she struggled on a daily basis.
I thought this was the one and only time I’d ever see this unfortunate disease almost take over someone’s life. I was wrong. The past three years I have watched someone very dear to me struggle with this life-sucking condition and it has become unbearable to be a part of. If I could remove ED from the equation, I would in a heart beat. Unfortunately, life isn’t that easy. I don’t know what happened that made this person sink so deep in a hole where the scum of the Earth lie. It’s so deep an infinite rope probably wouldn’t be able to pull them out. In the beginning I was very encouraging. If she needed a sympathetic person with only an ear to talk to. I became that person. I wanted her to have someone to talk to where she knew the conversation wouldn’t instantly turn into a lecture. I hadn’t realized the severity of the disease until we had taken a vacation that involved swimsuits and swimming pools. I remember catching a glimpse of a skeleton I completely didn’t recognize. A minute passed and I realized just how emaciated she had become. The saddest part about this moment wasn’t her physical condition but the shame you could feel radiating from her soul as she tried to curl and cover her body so no one could see just how bad it had gotten. After this trip she had gone directly into her very first treatment. I was so proud of her for taking this step even though she didn’t know what to do or what to expect. Being 17 and dealing with something like this can’t be easy. While she was there, I tried to make sure I let her know that I loved her and that I would be there for her always. Once out of treatment, life was almost back to normal. She was happy and go-lucky again. However, things turned for the worst much faster than they had gotten better. The second treatment rolled around, then the third. Now I’m disgusted by the amount ED has taken over. I am more disgusted by the fact that she has let it happen again. If my parents fought for me to attend treatment, I would make sure I fought for my life. Unfortunately, I don’t see her fighting. Right out of treatment, it’s exercise, it’s marathons, it’s get skinny quick and it’s an even more restricted diet. It’s binge and purge, over and over again. Most of all, it’s OBSESSION.
I wish I could take her by the shoulders and shake it out of her. I wish she could see that she isn’t the only one suffering. I suffer. Her brother and sisters suffer. Above all, her parents suffer. Who wants to see there baby girl slowly be taken by such a despicable, lousy ED. I hope one day this weight can be lifted from her incredibly fragile body. I hope she can learn to see how beautiful she truly is and allow herself to flourish in health and in life. If she doesn’t learn this, I am going to be saying goodbye much earlier than I’d like.

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thecakebar:

yummmm

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loveisinthisroom:

x33 on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/27816181

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Nurse-midwifery

I’ve been notified that I might be able to get a shadowing experience. Yay. Now, to do the paper work for authorization.

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leebee88:

So drinking a glitter beer when i find one ;)

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